HEADS OTAIL

 Our heads; your tale

Feb 18, 2011

Stupid girls turn me on

Dear Heads or Tail,

I am a 23 year old guy and I’ve noticed something disturbing about myself. While I love spending time with very intelligent people and having intellectual debates, I realized recently that I am only turned on by girls who are not as bright as I am. There is something about that “dumb blonde” routine that really gets me going.

Am I doomed to spend the rest of my life having great conversations with friends but dating bimbos? Or can I somehow train myself to be more attracted to smart women?

—Turned On By Idiots

 

Rake says:

Um, do you really have great conversations with smart friends, or is someone suffering from a little bit of Dunning–Kruger effect?

Okay, look, the bottom line is this: you get sexually aroused by a challenge. Things need to be a bit tense, but not so tense that you deflate from lack of confidence. So, either you are actually dumb and you sense that smart girls will figure that out and reject you, or you are an asshole and these smart gals will not fall for it when you tell them that blue balls are fatal.

Or you have some trauma around the ladies of logic, and thus find safety in the arms of idiots.

Whatever the reason, the answer is to bash your head against it like a caveman. But a smart one.

Get into a relationship with a smart lady, and carefully examine yourself the whole way through. Expect to fix yourself and for it all to work out, but be honest with yourself about what is happening and then fix the problems as they come up.

Yes, my advice is: “fix it.”

Shut up.

—Rake

Ava says:

What turns people on and why is, for the most part, a mystery, and probably better left unexamined. So we won’t get into the question of why you are turned on by idiots, just the question of what to do about it.

Although I personally see nothing wrong with having a brilliant girlfriend who fulfills you intellectually in addition to a bimbo on the side who makes you rock hard with her blank stares and bonehead remarks, I can see how finding both of these women AND getting them to agree to that kind of arrangement is a bit far-fetched. So, TOBI, let’s start from the assumption that you’re probably going to have to settle for either brilliant or bimbo, not both.

That being the case, it seems to me that if a woman is brilliant enough, and secure enough in her brilliance, she may be willing (even eager?) to act the bimbo for you in bed. Whereas the bimbo’s limitations are, well, apparent. And permanent, I should think.

—Ava