Flying solo to fantasy land

Hi there! Looks like someone wants to help you sharpen your online dating. Just think: The Person in Question (PIQ) could have just deleted your message. Instead they decided to offer you some friendly advice via us.

We realize that it’s hard to accept even well-meaning advice when your pride is wounded. But we promise it will be worth the effort.

What went wrong:

You jumped the gun. Put the cart before the horse. Flew off to fantasy land without checking to see if your PIQ was along for the ride.

Couple of common examples:

“We have a very high match percentage and would obviously make a great couple…”

Just because a computer algorithm has determined that we have a high percentage chance of compatibility does NOT mean we would make a great couple. Chemistry can’t be determined online.

“Wow, where have you been all my life? Let’s not waste any more time without each other. When are you free for dinner?”

Frankly, this kind of blatant eagerness to jump straight to coupledom comes off as rather desperate and low-value. It also puts undue pressure on the PIQ to decide RIGHT AWAY, with only your profile to go off, whether or not you two are made for each other. (Spoiler: that calculation is unlikely to work in your favor!)

Finally, it’s rather insulting to assume that you and/or a computer know better than the PIQ who s/he should be dating.

In short: you have never met this person. Act accordingly.

What you should do instead:

Point out the specific things that make you think the PIQ would be a good match for you: common interests, shared values, etc.

Tell the PIQ what you have to offer. If you don’t know what that is, take down your online dating profile immediately, go figure it out, and start again from scratch.


Finally, allow the PIQ to draw her (or his!) own conclusions.

Now… get back in the ring and play some more! We wish you good game!


Two Girls On Dating

What is this? You are reading Online Dating Etiquette Tip #107.

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